Daughter of the Emperor
My complex and guilt-ridden mind felt relieved by the starlit walk, but I was back to feeling depressed once morning came.
I remembered that the problem at hand hadn’t been resolved yet.
My mouth felt dry as if I was chewing on sand. I got up from my bed to wash up, change my clothes, and make my hair, but I didn’t feel like walking out of my room for some reason.
Wow, I was worried about Assisi and what face I was supposed to make while meeting him. What to do?
“Princess, what are you doing?”
“Wait and see, okay?”
I wasn’t even prepared for what I was supposed to do, yet there was Libby, cheering me up.
She seemed very much like a bored maid.
I walked out of the door right away, but once I left, my nerves stiffed. I wasn’t thirsty till a moment ago, so why was I so thirsty now?
Gulping my saliva, I took another step and greeted my other attendants as usual.
However, for some reason, I couldn’t see Assisi, who always greeted me right away. I couldn’t help but look around when I found Assisi standing far away.
Once I saw him, my heart broke.
Why was that idiot acting like he had committed an enormous sin?
I had to go to Solay Palace for breakfast, but ignoring Libby who was beside me, I took huge strides towards Assisi. He seemed shocked to see me approaching him.
He was definitely shocked after seeing me.
The first thing I did after reaching him was to catch his hand. It felt like he would run away if I didn’t hold onto him.
“Assisi, I am sorry. I asked about something weird yesterday.”
Even if my intentions were pure, it was a fact that my question hurt Assisi. Even if he said that he didn’t feel hurt, his pain was undeniable.
His long eyelashes cast a shadow over his ever so beautiful eyes. And his calm breath.
I wanted to see what kind of expression he was making, but I felt so ashamed to look into his eyes that I didn’t even know what emotions were running through his mind.
“Not at all.”
It was a low voice mixed with genuineness.
“I was worried that I said something out of hand to you yesterday.”
Assisi smiled while saying it, but his smile felt forced as if he was hurting inside. The slight tremble in his voice made me realize just how much he had suffered from my questions.
I felt a lot more guilty for what I had said.
In fact, it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t surprised by his words.
However, my being surprised wasn’t the problem. It was that Assis felt bad for something he wasn’t the cause of.
“When did Assisi say something out of hand? You only spoke the truth.”
“Once in a while, the truth is uncomfortable.”
Assisi bowed his head. He kept looking away, as if he didn’t want to make eye contact with me.
I could feel the air freezing between us. I wanted to comfort Assisi, but I couldn’t think of anything to make him feel better. I was hesitating on what to say.
Breaking the brief silence between us, Assisi spoke.
“I didn’t want to lie to you.”
I was the one to hold his hand, but it seemed like he was the one holding onto my hand now. Our hands were speaking the heavy words for us.
“I want to speak only the truth with you, even if my truth will break us apart, Ria.”
… How could this man before me be so foolish?
On the other hand, his words made me weak. I can’t say anything if he spoke like that. I mean, it wasn’t like I wanted to say anything.
Assis’s eyes were sharp. As always. Perhaps, his eyes showed his sincerity.
Even if I didn’t understand them, that was what Assisi wanted to tell me.
I was feeling troubled for nothing.
But since I could clear my mind, there was nothing else for me to say.
I knew he was blockheaded, but I liked that about him. What else could I do? Maybe it’s karma.
“I was a little embarrassed.”
It wasn’t that I hated Assisi for what he said, but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I was embarrassed.
As I laughed, Assisi looked at me.
It was an unspoken gesture, an answer, a reassurance to me.
“I am sorry I hurt you, Assisi.”
Assisi shook his head. I wondered if my throat was hurting because I spoke a lot.
But Assisi looked straight into my eyes for the first time today.
I could feel my smile widen.
“Is everything alright now?”
What was there to be not okay?
Even if Assisi’s mother was my grandfather’s mistress, what we have today didn’t change. It was a bit shocking, but it was a fact I wasn’t aware of, and it wasn’t like I felt disappointed with Assisi or anyone.
“No matter what, Assisi is my knight.”
Assisi bowed his head upon hearing my soft-spoken words.
He looked like he wanted to hide his expression, which made me smile.
“Wouldn’t it be weird to point the wrongs at each other because of what happened? Don’t you think so?”
My question made Assisi look into my eyes; with a subtle smile on his lips, he nodded.
I smiled brightly after seeing him.